Bahahaha.

"Today, I realized that the senior thesis I turned in last week uses the word "asses" instead of "assess" 17 times. FML."


"Today, my kids told me for the FIRST time, my cooking was delicious. I made Kraft dinner that night. FML."
(In all fairness, can you blame them? Who doesn't love the Blue Box?)


"Today, my mother sent a letter to my best friend trying to comfort her over the death of her mother. She signed the letter, "LOL, Jen" thinking LOL stood for "lots of love." FML."

Links.

I would not be upset if someone bought me a ticket to this.

I would, however, not be happy if someone kidnapped me and brought me to this.

Also. How tragic would it be if you were the dog who stumbles upon this on craigslist.com and has the perfect spots and everything but cannot reply due to lack of typing skills? And opposable thumbs?? SO TRAGIC.

UMMMM.

Note to the student body of Columbia:

DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT PURCHASE YOUR VARSITY SHOW TICKET ENTIRELY WITH CHANGE.

Doing so WILL result in your death.

Facebook messages.

Guys, there's really nothing better than getting a tender facebook message from a long lost friend. It always brings a smile to my face when I see (1) next to the facebook folder in my gmail (see how organized I am!) and, expecting it to be some lone wolf kid from middle school inviting me to play ZOMBIEZZZZ, it's instead a surprising hello from someone I've been missing. I can't think of anything better.

...

I mean, sure, it might be better if a long-lost friend appeared at my door with flowers and a totally free weekend that we could use to catch up and giggle and frolic. Or they could send me an Edible Arrangement© (please god, someone send me an edible Edible Arrangement©). Or I guess even a phone call is a little more personal than a facebook message.

But I understand the limitations of daily life. People are busy. So I will continue to appreciate the joy that is a wonderfully unexpected facebook message.

It really doesn't take very much to make me smile.

No.

AW MAN.

The Little Vampire now available to watch instantly from Netflix--how am I ever supposed to sleep now that I am privy to this information??

HEAT RASH.

HEAT RASH.

fml.

Picnic in the park.

Riverside Park=

PUPPIES BABIES PUPPIES BABIES PUPPIES BABIES.

And I loved every minute.

Avoiding TIC work

I need a belt. ASAP. Or else Lerner is gonna be getting a free show.

Plus, congrats to Caroline for being the first official follower!! What a trendsetter!

Postscript

Now that it's super hot out, I feel it's important to note--

Female "Jorts" (jean shorts): acceptable
Male "Jorts": unacceptable

Dispatch from Theatre History II

Just for anyone who has forgotten:
-Classes of this course remaining: 2
-Grades we have received for our work thus far: 0

So hopefully I'm not failing. That would be a surprise. They should have a special marking on your transcript for situations like that--SNEAK-ATTACK FAILURE!!!!!

Also, here's a haiku I just wrote about the temptation of the outdoor BBQ happening right now outside our classroom:
O, Hot Dog, you tease. (5)
Your moist buns shine in the sun. (7)
Your ketchup--my blood. (5)

Lastly, when do people start buying boxes for moving out? Because last year when I went to the bookstore, they only had one GIANT box left. Of course, I bought it. But it was really really hard to carry back to the dorm. And this year I live even further, so I'm just trying to be prepared.
Also, as it turns out, packing everything you own into one huge cardboard box tends to be met with looks of hatred from your parents. Although that can be viewed as a silver lining for some.

So I guess I accidentally made this blog.

WHOOPS.

Here's the current thought:
Why are my hands so small? I want to be able to play the banjo. Or the guitar. But preferably the banjo. There was a girl on the lawn today practicing her banjo and it's possible that I've never been more jealous in my life.

That last part isn't entirely true, but you get my point.

Curse you, baby hands!