Overheard in Lerner.

Two people in front of me in line at Cafe 212--

Girl (to Gay Male Companion): Do you have any electrical tape? I'm not wearing a bra tonight and I don't want my nipples to show.

Gay Male Companion: Why don't you just use Band-aids?

Girl: I guess I could. (Sigh) But Band-Aids are so unsexy.

Me (in my head, to myself): AND ELECTRICAL TAPE IS THE PINNACLE OF SEX APPEAL?

Also, I had to make up a lab today, so I was paired with some stranger and she was the worst EVER. She kept doing things wrong and when I would (politely) try to correct her, she'd be all, "Nah, I know what I'm doing." But then later, when the teacher would point out her mistake, she'd shoot me a DEATH GLARE and say, "why didn't you tell me that before?" She was majorly scary. Also, it's not my fault that you can't seem to grasp which is the x-axis and which is the y, Boo. It's just funny because she thought I was super incompetent, but actually she was just too incompetent to understand my competence.

Whatever. SEE YOU IN ENVIRONMENTAL SCIENCE HELL, BITCH.

AHH.

Cold sweats AND nightmares!

Eep.

So waking up continually throughout the night in cold sweats--that's probably bad, right?

Cold. Sweats. Bad.

InspirationInspirationInspiration.

Edward Bond wrote:

"What is drama? There are two cups, one white and one blue.

The white cup has a handle. The blue cup has none. We break

the two cups and trample and scatter the pieces. We carefully

reassemble them. No fragment is left over. There is no crack on

the cups, not one sign of breakage, each cup is perfect. But the

blue cup has a handle and the white cup has none. Drama

changes reality."

Drama changes reality.

This is me right now.

Continued thoughts from this morning.

I was wondering this morning, why does my body wake up 50 times faster than my brain?

Now I realize, it's because my brain is fucking tired. All it does is analyze at the speed of light, all the time. My body, on the other hand, has been a sloth for the last 20 years. It's ready to go.

Also, I'm SUPER excited about Orpheus and the Sirens. Especially because I googled my character, and this was one of the first things that came up:

"Of the Sirens, there was Leucosia, the "white maiden," who, with her flawless beauty and forked tongue, brought many men to their deaths..."

Damn. Right.

Thoughts from the morning.

Does anyone look good doing step aerobics at 9am? Or in general?

After a mere two classes, I can already say with great confidence, NO. No to both.

The real highlight of the class for me is the array of dance mixes, which the teacher LOVES. More than that, she loves to shout out random lyrics from the songs and alter them to make them about step aerobics.

For example, when "Don't Cha" by the Pussycat Dolls was playing:

"Don't Cha--love step? Yes you do, you just don't know it yet!"

...

The next section of this post will have two parts. The first is a confession and the second is an explanation. Ready? Okay.

1. Confession: Guys, I love the Bachelor. There, I said it. I love the Bachelor and I love that Hulu conveniently posts two hours for me to watch every week. I love the group dates, I love the drama, I love the tacky cocktail dresses. I LOVE ITTTT! Okay, now that I've got that out of my system--

2. Explanation: I love the Bachelor because it is just 100% nonsense. Don't give me this Real World stuff-- I don't want to see "real people" "living together" and "experiencing youth." No. I am a real person living with other real people and we're all experience youth. I want something completely UNREAL. Enter--The Bachelor. Ladies, let's think about this. In real life, is it acceptable to go on two dates with a guy, who you happen to know is also seeing other people (like 10-12 other people) and then hear him say, "I'm falling for you"? No. If that happened to you in real life, you would run. You would run far far away and probably never call him again and possibly get a restraining order. But in The Bachelor, they just say, "I'm falling for you, too". ALL OF THEM. It's nonsense and I love it. I love it I love it I love it.

I swear, I have more legitimate thoughts during the day, too.