Winter wonders.

The funny thing about HUGE winter hats is that they make the sex of the wearer completely indistinguishable.

And that makes for an adventure every time.

TIC Tales.

One of the sandwich guys in Cafe 212 does not like his job.

I can tell by his eyes and the way he looks at me when he's using that giant knife to cut my turkey. I can tell he's imagining it's my face.

In happier news, I made a friend at work today! She was 4 (NOT 3, as she vehemently specified) and she was waiting for a play date with Theo and she took off her shoe and we laughed and laughed and laughed because it is VERY funny to take off your shoes. And then she told me that we met in make-believe yesterday and there was a poopy monster but she didn't protect me. And then she met Kendale and called him "Candle." Many times and wouldn't stop.

Everything was going swimmingly until her mom FINALLY showed up and told her it was time to go, and she was so sad to leave us that she had a tantrum. I mean, I know I'm lovable but WOW she wanted to be best friends. Kids usually love me or hate me. For the former, I'd imagine it's because they think I'm one of them. For the latter, WHATEVER they're just jealous.

AHHHHH!

MOCHI HEADACHE MOCHI HEADACHE MOCHI HEADACHE BRAINFREEEEEEEZE!

OW.

Follow-up to last post.

This just in about the gym:

It's hot. And it smells.

Also, as I predicted, 9am is EARLY.

Way too early for smelly gym-time, that's for sure.

But...

9am cardio mix.

Why?

Whywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhy?

Puppies. Just always more puppies.

This puppy looks like it's trying to be sexy, but the whole thing didn't quite work out.

But it's okay--I still love it anyway.

Also, the next dog's bio is written in first person (or rather, first puppy), and you guys KNOW that's my favorite!

"Hi, my name is Nemo! I love the snow. I like chasing my ball at the park but sometimes I have trouble stopping. I also like to hunt for hidden treasures. I especially love when I can find Mommy's socks and shoes though I don't think she likes it very much. If I'm not sniffing around for things I'm usually sleeping on top of the laundry. Oh, and I love kids! Just the sound of them makes my nub wag!"

"Nub Wag". Maybe it's just me but doesn't that sound like the newest hour-long sexy comedy coming to Showtime?

Brecht.

Came across this in some reading over break and just remembered the coolness:

"Can we speak of money in the form of iambics?"

Already getting excited.

One last thing. Well, two.

Just in case you haven't seen these yet. Enjoy (although how could you not?).

Now watch it like, 3 more times and LOOK AT THAT KID'S FACE!

Classes start tomorrow?

First, I found this today and think it's thoroughly hilarious. Maybe it's just me. But I don't think so.

Second--Golden Globes, what were you thinking?? Avatar? SERIOUSLY? I know, I know, it's "revolutionary," it'll "change filmmaking forever". In my mind, not so much.

Reasons why I'm right and Avatar fanatics are wrong:

1. Could the screenplay have been cheesier? It was painfully obvious that the team was so excited about the animation that they may have written it in 30 minutes. And it may have involved refrigerator magnet poetry.

2. Did any character actually want anything? What ever happened to that whole Unobtainium plot?

3. Na'vi sex. Uncomfortabletown, USA--population: every audience member across America.

4. I'd rather see 2 minutes of real human interaction on film that watch the emotional journey of a CGI. CGI tears don't do anything for me, personally.

5. Don't give me this slapped together, transparent message about the environment. If you want to bill your movie as "An action-packed 3D movie experience," I am ALL for it. But don't pretend you actually care about the environment. If you did, you would have taken that (how much?) $200 million and actually put some of it towards helping the environment.

6. THIS is true and there's just no way around it.

I'm sorry about this rant. I guess what I'm trying to say is, I was just really disappointed by Avatar. Fair?

In happier movie news, I saw Up in the Air tonight and was BLOWN AWAY. It made me laugh, it made me cry. Literally. And that says something. It was just a great story with interesting characters and terrific performances. I was happy for Mo'nique's win because that shit was legit, but Vera Farmiga was also pretty unbelievable. I feel like this movie is not really getting the praise it deserves. It just truly affected me and, in my (uneducated, unimportant) opinion, that is what art should do. So thank you, Jason Reitman. Done.

Lastly, I feel it is my duty to post a song that was introduced to me this weekend. Because these lyrics are just ridiculous. In the best way. R Kelly, you may be some sort of sick genius.

A philosophical question.

At what point does an interest in fake mustaches become a fetish?

And then an obsession?

Or is that order reversed?

Discuss.

Catch up. Ketchup?

Although I haven't been posting very much during the last few weeks in Pennsylvania, please do not mistake this for a lack of blog-worthy events. In fact, I've been recording said events as drafts on my cell phone. I will now post for your pleasure (or not whatever I DON'T NEED YOUR APPROVAL).

1. Today I went to Lenscrafters to get my glasses adjusted. I was simply fixated with the section of merchandise that they had chosen to label, "Feminine Charm". Because maybe it's just me, but "Feminine Charm" sounds like the name of a douche and nothing else.

2. There's no better feeling than the satisfaction of cleaning up all your various inboxes. I did my gmail, webmail, and facebook all in one day. It was necessary. Every time I logged on to facebook, I saw my 130+ unread inbox messages (not an exaggeration) and felt pretty bad about myself. But no longer!

3. I CAN'T STOP PLAYING NONOGRAMS. They are so addicting that when I close my eyes at night, I see the numbers moving on the insides of my eyelids (bad?). Seriously, try them if you haven't yet: FUN HERE!

4. I know it's 2 weeks late, but I think I've finally come up with a new year's resolution:

I WILL start to film the sketches I've written this year. Done. I've waited too long already.

Plane tickets.

PLANE TICKETS HAVE BEEN PURCHASED.

PARIS: SPRING BREAK 2010!

À bientôt, y'all!