Yep.

Am I disturbed? Abso-tootin-lutely. And yet I felt I needed to share. Isn't that the funny thing about friendship?

Realizations.

Imagine this:

You have curly hair. You don't shower for three days. Now you have dreadlocks.

Whoops.

Cloudy with a chance of meatballs.

What's the forecast?

Sunny, with a 98% chance of me being dressed inappropriately dressed for the weather.

Why alcohol is dangerous.

Dear young people:

Why is alcohol dangerous?

-Alcohol poisoning?

-Law-breaking?

-Random hookups?

No. Well, yes. But no.

Alcohol is dangerous because it will make your brain think: "What is a good snack to have at 3:30am? Oh, I know--this leftover burrito from Taqueria. OF COURSE!"

And then your body will rebel against itself and your soul will become a war casualty thank you that is all.

Kids do the darndest (read: dumbest) things.

I just found out that my friend's bat mitzvah theme was: HATS.

That's it. Just think about it: HATS.

Thoughts for the day.

Milk choices for my coffee in Ferris Booth:
-Half-and-half
-2%
-Cold milk

..."cold milk"? I'mmm not sure I understand.

Also, weather.com--when I look at you and you tell me it's NOT raining, and then I walk outside and it IS in fact raining, you have failed at your most basic duty. And you really messed up my day. THANKS.

I'm back!

I decided the following today:

You know what, coffee elitists, I don't care what you say. I like my coffee with milk and sugar, and that's the end of the discussion.

I figure, I like coffee like myself. Sweet. And caucasian.

?