Netfliiiiix, c'monnnn.

How the EFF am I supposed to do my work when Netflix has seasons 1-4 of That's So Raven available to watch instantly?

Oh, cruel universe.

Now I never have to stop drinking COFFEE!

Blue Java Loyalty Rewards Program? Buy 9 coffees, get the 10th free (any size)?

Yes, please!

Finally, working in Lerner will get me something other than annoyance with the Columbia student body (friends excluded)!

FUN CITY SURPRISES!

Sidewalk salt + snow= BLUE SNOW!

BLOW!

...

BlUE SNOW!

Bubbles and Birthdays.

Why does this keep happening to me? Who is the phantom who has gone into my ICal (which I NEVER use, btw) and inserted the birthdays of people whose names I do not even recognize. Over winter break, it was "Ethan's Birthday." Tonight, a reminder popped up telling me that it was "Jamie's Birthday." Who is Ethan? WHO IS JAMIE?? And why have they chosen to haunt my Macbook applications? Should I be scared? Because I am.

Also, as I began typing this post, a bubble from the tonic water I was drinking bounced up and hit me in the eye. It really burned. But it's worth it for the delicious nectar of straight tonic water. I guess I just really like quinine?

Try to breathe.

Cherubs application officially sent in!

Now, the waiting begins...

Panic attacks subside...somewhat...

MY PASSPORT FINALLY CAME IN THE MAIL TODAY.

France is a go, y'all!

And I didn't pay $200 extra for the expedited option. I gambled and won!*

*Note: underage gambling is neither condoned nor encouraged by theblogthatknewtoomuch.com.

YAYAYAYAY!

Guys--I am officially doing an acting thesis next year!!!!!!

I mean, that's really all the info I can give you. I don't even know what the shows for next fall or spring are and I won't actually know my part until after auditions happen but I do know that I will be cast FOR SURE in SOMETHING.

And I am incredibly excited.

I'll keep you posted with the info as I get it.

Thanks, Wiki.

GUYS CAROL CHANNING IS STILL ALIVE.

Some things in the world are SO confusing.

At the TIC.

An old man just wandered up, asking my co-worker and I--

"Are either of you Jewish? By any chance??"

...

Never a truer gchat.

Rachel (1:02am): where are the clean men

SOS.

It's the books. I woke up this morning and they had a knife to my throat and they said, "if you buy even one more of us shit is gonna get scary up in this place THERE IS JUST NO MORE ROOM."

I'll wait here while you call for help. Hurry. Stoppard's giving me the stink eye as I write this and Suzan-Lori Parks is guarding the door and she looks ready to get my murder DONE.

From my drafts.

I meant to post this last week and forgot!

First of all, on my way downtown to work, I ran into one of my favorite freshman gingers on the subway. Then, 7 hours later when I was getting off the subway back on campus, there he was again! Fate? I think yes. Plus, it was great to have someone share the following adventure with me:

Across from us on the subway was a woman. Like many women in the modern world, she was carrying a purse. Inside the purse, was a dog! But it wasn't one of those shriveled little purse dogs. It was like, a substantial terrier. And it was ADORABLE AND IT LOOKED AT ME AND WE MADE FRIENDS.

Anyway.

Next to the woman/dog was an older, somewhat homeless-looking man. He was eating a doughnut. A jelly doughnut, to be exact. He was enjoying it immensely, and every once in a while he would get some jelly on his coat but he would see it and get it off, don't worry. However, this man did NOT see the dog, which was watching him like a hawk the entire time he ate this doughnut. I'm pretty good at reading the minds of dogs, and I'm pretty positive this dog was saying, "I was I had hands so I could punch this guy and eat his doughnut". Keep in mind, the dog could only move his eyes, since he was inside a purse. And every time some jelly would come out of the doughnut, his eyes would get HUGE. And then once the dog realized I was watching HIM like a hawk, he would turn and look at me with his puppy eyes as if to say two things:

1. "Ya wanna help me out with this doughnut here?"
2. "Please tell this lady I am WAYYYY too big to be in a purse!"

The dog never got that doughnut. But BOY did I have a good time watching him try!

Overheard in Lerner.

Two people in front of me in line at Cafe 212--

Girl (to Gay Male Companion): Do you have any electrical tape? I'm not wearing a bra tonight and I don't want my nipples to show.

Gay Male Companion: Why don't you just use Band-aids?

Girl: I guess I could. (Sigh) But Band-Aids are so unsexy.

Me (in my head, to myself): AND ELECTRICAL TAPE IS THE PINNACLE OF SEX APPEAL?

Also, I had to make up a lab today, so I was paired with some stranger and she was the worst EVER. She kept doing things wrong and when I would (politely) try to correct her, she'd be all, "Nah, I know what I'm doing." But then later, when the teacher would point out her mistake, she'd shoot me a DEATH GLARE and say, "why didn't you tell me that before?" She was majorly scary. Also, it's not my fault that you can't seem to grasp which is the x-axis and which is the y, Boo. It's just funny because she thought I was super incompetent, but actually she was just too incompetent to understand my competence.

Whatever. SEE YOU IN ENVIRONMENTAL SCIENCE HELL, BITCH.

AHH.

Cold sweats AND nightmares!

Eep.

So waking up continually throughout the night in cold sweats--that's probably bad, right?

Cold. Sweats. Bad.

InspirationInspirationInspiration.

Edward Bond wrote:

"What is drama? There are two cups, one white and one blue.

The white cup has a handle. The blue cup has none. We break

the two cups and trample and scatter the pieces. We carefully

reassemble them. No fragment is left over. There is no crack on

the cups, not one sign of breakage, each cup is perfect. But the

blue cup has a handle and the white cup has none. Drama

changes reality."

Drama changes reality.

This is me right now.

Continued thoughts from this morning.

I was wondering this morning, why does my body wake up 50 times faster than my brain?

Now I realize, it's because my brain is fucking tired. All it does is analyze at the speed of light, all the time. My body, on the other hand, has been a sloth for the last 20 years. It's ready to go.

Also, I'm SUPER excited about Orpheus and the Sirens. Especially because I googled my character, and this was one of the first things that came up:

"Of the Sirens, there was Leucosia, the "white maiden," who, with her flawless beauty and forked tongue, brought many men to their deaths..."

Damn. Right.

Thoughts from the morning.

Does anyone look good doing step aerobics at 9am? Or in general?

After a mere two classes, I can already say with great confidence, NO. No to both.

The real highlight of the class for me is the array of dance mixes, which the teacher LOVES. More than that, she loves to shout out random lyrics from the songs and alter them to make them about step aerobics.

For example, when "Don't Cha" by the Pussycat Dolls was playing:

"Don't Cha--love step? Yes you do, you just don't know it yet!"

...

The next section of this post will have two parts. The first is a confession and the second is an explanation. Ready? Okay.

1. Confession: Guys, I love the Bachelor. There, I said it. I love the Bachelor and I love that Hulu conveniently posts two hours for me to watch every week. I love the group dates, I love the drama, I love the tacky cocktail dresses. I LOVE ITTTT! Okay, now that I've got that out of my system--

2. Explanation: I love the Bachelor because it is just 100% nonsense. Don't give me this Real World stuff-- I don't want to see "real people" "living together" and "experiencing youth." No. I am a real person living with other real people and we're all experience youth. I want something completely UNREAL. Enter--The Bachelor. Ladies, let's think about this. In real life, is it acceptable to go on two dates with a guy, who you happen to know is also seeing other people (like 10-12 other people) and then hear him say, "I'm falling for you"? No. If that happened to you in real life, you would run. You would run far far away and probably never call him again and possibly get a restraining order. But in The Bachelor, they just say, "I'm falling for you, too". ALL OF THEM. It's nonsense and I love it. I love it I love it I love it.

I swear, I have more legitimate thoughts during the day, too.